Good Times

Well, it's Sunday morning at 9:05 A.M., and unfortunately for me, I'm awake. I guess my body says that 5.5 hours of sleep is enough for me.

Here's the weekend in a nutshell.

Friday: The guys got to my house, and since Big Judy's flight was delayed, we ate at Chili's for lunch. We got the party started right though, by messing with the waitress pretty good. I'm sure that she just loved us. Of course she did, we gave her a fat tip.

We picked up Big Judy from the airport and finally made it to Bossier City around 6:00 P.M. After checking in at the hotel, we found a hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. Those are always the best restaurants, in my opinion.

We then decided to hit the casino and play some blackjack. Bubba showed up shortly after that, and then the fun really started. We all managed to sit down at the same blackjack table, which was made things pretty dang interesting. Big Judy hit the sack pretty early, around 11:30, because he was pretty drunk and tired. Bubba and I were the next ones out, mainly because the dealers were bitch-slapping the shite outta us, and I was down about $200 for the evening. We did manage to get a free breakfast, valued at $7.99 (oooh, aaah), for a net loss of $192.01 for the evening. Of course I'm not including the cost of the liquor/beer that I drank, because, then I'd be ahead about $5.25 for the evening.

So, Big Judy, Bubba, and I were sound asleep in our hotel room, when at 6:15 A.M., Cameltoes came busting in, not anywhere near the land of soberdom. He was pretty dang loud, so all three of us awoke. It took me about 5 entire seconds to realize the following things: 1) where the heck I was at, 2) who the heck barged into my room, and 3) why in the heck my head was pounding so bad.

Cameltoes managed to drunk dial his girlfriend too. He really didn't carry on a meaningful conversation, needless to say.

Score after 1st night: Casino: -1, All of our livers: -1,000, Wallets: Negative untold hundreds of dollars, Bossier City Police: -7 drunk cats on the prowl (Thank God).

By about 8:45 A.M., I awoke to Big Judy getting dressed. It didn't take me long to realize that I was pretty much up for good, so we decided to cash in on our complementary breakfast. The two of us ssssllllllooooooooowwwwwwwllllllyyyyy made our way to the casino for a pretty sorry excuse for a breakfast. We had fun just hanging out and talking. After about an hour, we headed back to the hotel, where Bubba was just waking up, and Cameltoes was none too happy that we were about to start the day. Big R called shortly thereafter to announce that the party was gonna have to start getting ready.

Around 12:30, we all headed back to the casino, because Big R, Cameltoes, Big S, and Big J all got comp'd lunches. Bubba joined them and Big Judy and I played some blackjack. In short order, all of us guys were playing blackjack.

By the time we left, about 6:30 P.M., I had managed to make a huge comeback from yesterday, to bring myself only down $80 for the 2 days of blackjack. And when you consider the total amount of "free" drinks that I consumed, I figure I came out about even.

We watched the Cowboys choke against the Seachickens and ended back at the hotel (Bubba, Cameltoes, Big Judy, and I) by about 12:00 A.M. We were all hungry and we decided to find a joint to eat at.

On the way, we managed to pass not 1, not 2, but 3 police cars. I pretty much thought that we were toast, but luckily they were all headed for the doughnut shop, and not really looking for 3 drunk dudes, and a driver that was pretty sober.

We found a Shoney's and since it was all-you-can-eat, we figured it would be a good thing. Well, I couldn't really tell you a single thing that I ate, but I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. At one point, I couldn't breathe very well, and I started drooling on the table, because I was laughing so hard. That, in turn, made Big Judy start crying from laughing so hard.

When we were about finished with our meal, Cameltoes got up in a hurry and disappeared. The next thing I know, he's banging on the window frantically, trying to get our attention. Big Judy, Bubba, and I all look up just in time to see Cameltoes' nipple being pressed against the window. We all loose it, and I tell them that we'd better get our butts outta there.

Sunday morning we got up around 8:00 A.M. and Big Judy, Bubba, and I went to eat the free continental breakfast at our fine hotel. It was pretty dang shabby, and Bubba left soon after that. The group managed to hit the road by 11:00 A.M.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Cameltoes was hurling his guts out all that morning. He had vomited a bunch about 20 minutes before I jumped in the shower. I thought it was safe to take a shower, but oh, I was wrong.

I was literally about 1 minute from stepping out of the shower, when I hear Cameltoes open the door to the bathroom and say, "Whatever you do, don't step out."

I then hear the violent wretching of his stomach. So I'm stuck in the shower for about 10 minutes, all the while Cameltoes is tossing his cookies. Nice huh?

He also vomited twice while we were driving. All. Over. The. Window. Of. The. Suburban. While. We. Were. Going. 70 mph.

It looked like we were going through a carwash, as his stomach contents were being sprayed all over the rear, side window. Thankfully, all of the vomitus stayed outside the vehicle.

And then we made it home.

Keep on keepin' on.