I'm Coming Home

Just like the Robert Earl Keen song, I'm coming home today....uh, rather late tonight. I should *fingers crossed* be able to leave here by 5 or 5:15, but it's about a 5.5-6 hour drive (with stops for gas and to go drain the ol' lizard), so I've got a long day a head of me. But, at least I have 2 dogs in the back to keep me entertained. Earl and Daisy are quite the pair.

Last night I had a lot of fun. What did you do Big D, you may ask? Did a group of cross-dressing midgets come by and entertain you? No such luck. Did aliens abduct you and perform weird experiments on you? No such luck either.

Here's what really happened.

I had just gotten done feeding my puppies, and we headed upstairs to my glorious attic apartment. My dog Daisy is a vacuum cleaner and the second we got up there, she found a 6 inch piece of string and put it in her mouth. Now she does this stuff all the time, and she normally just holds it in her mouth. Not this time. She swallowed it faster than Jenna Jameson on a sausage. Not that I've ever seen her on the silver screen, but I digress.

Now I'm pretty disgusted because I know that I have a lot of work ahead of me. You see kids, a piece of string, while likely to just pass through the body with no problem, can cause a VERY BIG PROBLEM. A problem like getting stuck somewhere in the intestines. No bueno. So I head downstairs to find some hydrogen peroxide to make her vomit (Yes, that makes dogs hurl their guts out. No you can't use it on your little sister. No, Big R, you can't use it on Shelby, although it would be funny.). But I digress again. Sorry. Me and my tangents.

I search all over this clinic for some, but to no avail. So I then head to a convenience store. Nothing. I then remembered that there is a CVS pharmacy close by. The only problem is that it's in the middle of the ghetto. So I drive through said ghetto, and oddly enough, everybody was staring at me. I wonder why? Maybe it's because I'm the only white dude they've seen heading down their streets. I pull up the the CVS at around 6:45 P.M. only to realize that IT IS CLOSED. What kind of CVS closes at 6 PM? Ahhhhh, right. The one's in the ghetto. Good answer class.

So I then start out on my adventure to find a grocery store or some other such store. A few blocks down, I find a sort of major intersection and find a larger convenience store. Let me describe to you what I saw. In the parking lot, a group of, how do you say this in English, African-Americans were closing up shop for the day. They were selling assorted clothes, knock-off sunglasses, knock-off watches, etc. High quality stuff, I assure you.

Then I walk into the store. I. Couldn't. Believe. What. I. Saw. I first walk in to hear some Asian music turned up at FULL VOLUME. The dude behind the counter was Asian and was watching a Asian music video. As a self-proclaimed music snob, I can say that the music sucked. Badly. But the dude was even better. He was about 30 years old, and was wearing.....wait for it, a sweet wife-beater shirt adorned with a way-too-large-knock-off gold chain. Nice.

To my left was a long row of about 15 or so slot machines, which don't pay out any "money." Yeah, right. Sitting there was a white women, chain smoking and pulling away on the machine. Niiiiiiiice.

Somehow through the haze of smoke and really bad Asian music, I found the elixor that I was looking for. Amazing, I know. It was like I was on Candid Camera, only the newer version "Candid Camera From Hell." How I get myself into these situations, I'll never know.

With my prize in hand, I headed back home to give it to my dog, Daisy. She did not handle it well. First off, I think that waaaaaaaay more of it was on me and the floor, than ever got into her stomach. But after much struggling, and coaxing I managed to get some of it down her.

I then took her outside to watch the show. Luckily this story has a happy ending, and after about 10 minutes she vomited up the string, along with all of her dog food that she had eaten.

All's well that ends well, I guess. Keep on keepin' on.

Beaumont, Sweet Beaumont

I'm almost done with day 2 in Beaumont. I'm staying in an apartment above the clinic, and overall, it's been pretty cool, except getting woken up at about 6:45-7:00 A.M. every morning because of the built-in alarm system in the clinic. You see kids, every time an outside door opens, the alarm beeps very loudly. And where might the keypad be for the alarm? In my apartment. It's like having your alarm clock go off, at completely random times. Then add to the mix of barking dogs, and squawking birds, and there's not a lot of sleeping going on then. Under ideal conditions, I would have to get up until around 8:15 or so, but I'm not exactly living in that world.

I haven't played a lick of poker either. I've got to get back on that train, cause I've got some bonuses to clear.

I also gave the girl I've been dating, we'll call her Annie, this blog address. Bad move on my part? Probably. So I'll have to really watch what I type from now on I guess. Maybe not. Also, Sir Cameltoes, DO NOT comment on my other "pimpin' of da ho's" on here. Keep it on the D.L.

Just kidding Annie, just kidding. The only pimpin' I'm doing is wit' you.

Seriously, Cameltoes, keep it on the D.L.

Just kidding Annie. Really.

Now that I'm in real trouble, I'd better just end this blog.

I'm gonna hear about this post, methinks.

Keep on keepin' on.

P.S. If you pay good money to buy a dog, please, for the love of all that's holy, have it properly vaccinated. I'm getting sick of seeing dogs with perfectly preventable diseases, and then the owner's complain because the treatment is X amount of dollars. Vaccinate, vaccinate, vaccinate.

This pubic (yes, I know I didn't put the "l" in it) service announcement was brought to you by the "Friends of Vets Who Are Sick Of Getting Ripped Off By Clients Because They Forgot To Tell You That They Only Have $50 To Spend On Their $750 Dog After I've Already Done $150 Worth Of Treatments."

Thank you and goodnight.

Update On Internet Connection

I spent about an hour on the phone with the Dell dude from India. The end result? I need to either buy a new telephone, or buy a new router. Great, I already spent $165 on this router, now I'm going to have to spend another $65-$90 on another one? Nice. The thing that is no bueno about this mess is that I can't return my router now because I've had it almost 2 months now. Even the manufacturer of the router asked me if I could return the router. Great. Yo Soy es muy screwed. How's that for some Spanglish?

Still no poker playing, as my wireless isn't liking me very much. I really need to play a few more hands before the end of the month to clear the SunPoker bonus. It's $90 total, since I just signed up this month. It's the man trying to bring me down, with this whole wireless fiasco.

I'm heading to Beaumont tomorrow, so I'm not sure if I'll have any internet access until Saturday. So if not, have a good week.

Keep on keepin' on.

Sorry About The Lack Of Writing

Yeah, well, my internet has been jacked for a while now. I bought a new laptop around 6 weeks ago, and I've been pretty happy with it overall. I have, however, had MAJOR issues with the wireless internet connections. I have spent about 6-8 HOURS on the phone with the manufacturer of the wireless router trying to get it fixed. It will work for about a week or so, and then it will go out. Yesterday, I spent and hour on the phone with the Indian chick (dots, not feathers) and at the end of it she said, "You have to call your internet service provider to have them re-install Internet Explorer." What?

But if I connect the laptop with a wired connection, everything works fine and dandy, so I'm not exactly sure why Internet Explorer would be messed up. So now, as I type this, I'm on hold with Dell to see if dem Indian brothas can hook a brotha up. I'm getting pretty pissed off about this whole thing, as one could imagine.

I went to 2 Rangers games in a row this weekend, with 2 different women. Yeah, I'm a stud. Does it count that the second woman was my sister? I didn't think so. Oh well, at least I had 1 date. Both games were slugfests, which is what makes the American League so much fun. Kevin Mench hit a grand slam on Friday night, and hit a 3 run homer on Saturday night, so that was fun. Friday night's score was 13-7, so I don't think that there were any Cy Young contenders on either team.

I'm working in good ole Beaumont for a few days this week, which means I've got about a 5-6 hour drive to make on Tuesday with a Golden Retriever and an Aussie. Fun, fun.

I've been on hold with Dell for over 30 minutes now, and I'm getting sick of waiting.

50 minutes later I'm not on hold anymore. YIPEE!!

Keep on keepin' on.

Manuel Labor.......Ah Screw It

Yesterday I worked in my parents backyard again. I planted another 200 or so plants, and unloaded another truckload of dirt. Fun, fun, fun.

Last night, the girl I've been dating, my brother, and I went to downtown Ft. Worth and saw Reckless Kelly play. Twas very cool to see them play again. I think it's been over a year since I'd seen them. The cool thing was that it was free. That's right, it was free. Nifty.

I finally got some more veterinary-related work lined up for the rest of the month. Thank God. Now I'll have a grand total of 12 shifts for the month of April (about 2-3 shifts shy of my goal for number of shifts each month) . The first 6 days were from April 1-20, meaning the last 10 days of April are going to be interesting. Here is my schedule, including today.

20th: Work in North Dallas
21st: Off, go to Rangers Game
22nd: Work in SPCA shelter - spays and neuters. about 40 of them.
23rd: off
24th: Work in North Dallas
25th: Drive 350 miles to Beaumont with 2 large dogs.
26-28h: Work in Beaumont. Get off at 5-6 PM and drive the 6 hours back home.
29th: Get up and work in Arlington, after sleeping about 6 hours and being tired hell from the Friday extravaganza.

Gonna be interesting.

Today my agent called me with work for May. I got a few more days booked, but here is the kicker. Every day that I'll be in Oregon helping Cameltoes move, I could have had shifts to work. EVERY DAY. Here I've spent the first 20 days of April with little work, and the first full week in May is WIDE OPEN, and I get offered work when I won't even be in the same state. It's unbelievable. Really. Thanks a lot Murphy's Law.

I still haven't played poker in quite a while. I'm not even really going through withdrawals pangs either. Odd, I know. I really need to buckle down and grind some more crypto bonuses out before the month ends. I'm a bit worried about the Sun Poker site, as I still haven't received my PIN number from them, and I even emailed them about the problem. They told me that they'd mail it out and I'd get it shortly. I still don't have it, and I'm a bit concerned because you can't take out any $ without it. Not cool.

Keep on keepin' on. And keep on rockin' in a free world, and all that jazz.

Happy Easter!

Today was a big day. My sister and 2 of her friends and I drove to my parents house to go to the Easter church service in the church that I went to as I grew up. I also invited the girl I went out with last night. I realize that it's a tad early to have a chica meet the parents, much less the entire family, but she didn't have much family to spend the day with.

It was a pretty nice day, as we had a good time and ate a feast of ham, turkey, corn, scalloped potatoes, green bean casarole, assorted fruit dishes, and dinner rolls. Needless to say I ate a ton. Then for dessert I had my mom's homemade peach pie with ice cream. Hungry yet?

I'm pretty tired, and I don't have a lot of funny things to write about, other than that I'm very thankful for my family and friends.

Keep on keepin' on.

Manuel, Part 745

Dude, I've got to get some work in which my veterinary degree will do me some good. Here has been my week (and I haven't played a lick of poker, sadly).

Monday: Worked outside in my sister's backyard, doing assorted landscaping and brute force work.

Tuesday through Thursday: My previous estimates of planting a "hundred or so plants" was GREATLY underestimated. I never really counted how many, and in my state of fatigue, merely through a number out there. In reality, I planted about 700-800 pots of grass. You know the smallest size of plant that you can buy? That's what I planted. Fun, fun, fun. I also unloaded 6 truckloads of dirt, by myself.

Friday: I worked at an SPCA shelter, where only basic, basic medicine is practiced. The bare minimum. So I really didn't have to use my brain at all. Kind of nice, but I saw quite a few animals, so I was pretty tired, but not exhausted by the end of it.

Saturday: Holy Toledo, today took the cake for worst/hardest physical labor of the week. I first woke up at 6:30 this morning because I had a 75 mile drive to make. I worked at a mobile veterinary clinic from 9 A.M. until about 4:15 P.M. Outside. Standing. In 90+ degree heat. Without a technician. In a parking lot. Getting one of the worst sunburns of my life 0n my neck and arms. Trying very hard not to let two of the meanest German Shepherds I've ever met rip my face off. In the sun. Without ever eating. For about $100 less than I should have made. With no more than a 1 minute break in the never-ending stream of pissed off/scared out of their minds animals. That about sums it up. Now it's 6:45 P.M. and I'm wondering what the heck happened to the day. I really feel like kind of a zombie. And a "undocumented migrant worker." And the dude wants me to do a lot more work for him. Even further away from where I live. And I'll probably take it, because I really like the idea of eating, and not getting my truck repo'd. Gotta love being desperate.

I'm so not into political correctness. I'm also not a racist, by the way. Just in case any of you 3-4 readers out there think that. Heck, I'm still trying to figure out if there is some African heritage in me. Although, from how freaking sunburned I am right now, I find that hard to believe.

However, from the size of my unit, I can believe it.

And I wonder why I'm still single. Hmmmmmm? It's probably because these DFW chicks haven't heard about the size of my unit. Give it time. Good news always travels fast.

Dam, I can't believe where this post has traversed. I'm the king of random thoughts.

I managed to convince a girl to go out with me on a 2nd date later this evening. I figure I'll be on my "D" game, since I've got about as much energy as a three-toed sloth right now. (Wow, how often do you get to use that animal in a sentence?) Although, my friend Cameltoes claims to have seen a three-toed cameltoe, but that's a topic for a different day. But I digress. I'm pretty excited about this one, but I also don't have a lot of hopes either, because when you've had the dating experiences that I have, you have to keep your hopes in check.

My sister is playing a new LL Cool J song, which is kind of catchy, but also annoying, because it's at the part of the song where he keeps saying, "Zzzzz. Zzzzzz. Zzzzz." Seriously, he keeps saying it. He's a lyrical genius.

I'd better stop typing now, before I disenfranchise my entire 3-4 person readership.

Keep on keepin' on.

Just Call Me Manuel, The Final Ole

Today, I worked my buttocks off again in my parents backyard. I believe that it was the final day for quite a while. I planeted until my back almost broke, but I only had enough time to unload 1 truckload of dirt (tisk, tisk).

Just Call Me Manuel, Part 2

I am officially not pale-skinned anymore. I'm a tad bit red after today's experience in "Landscaping 101: How to appreciate your education." I got a little sunburned today after working in the 90 degree heat today. Gotta love Texas in April. Now I remember why I got my eduamacation at some fancy university.

I unloaded another 2 truckloads of dirt along with planting another 100 or so plants. Nice work. Tomorrow, I get to unload another 2-3 truckloads of dirt, and plant another 50 plants, along with a boatload of sod. Gotta love free labor. De nada mi padres (Translation: You're welcome parents). And now I'm one tired mother trucker.

I really, really, really hope that I get some more veterinary work soon, because all of this "time-off" is going to kill me; nevermind the fact that I'll be eating Ramen noodles in the near future if Daddy don't get paid. It also doesn't help that the cards ain't exactly running well. When it rains it pours.

I'm too tired to type anymore. Keep on keepin' on.

Just Call Me Manuel

For a person that doesn't tan well, I sure have been working a lot like a so-called "undocumented migrant worker". The last 2 days I have worked my buttocks off doing landscaping work.

Yesterday was spent working at my sister's house. Which is fine, as I need to earn my keep. I carried about 400 lbs of dirt to the back yard to fill in the craters that the dogs have dug. Apparently, they really, really want to become Chinese, because they are digging like they're on a mission. I also raked an obscene amount of leaves/composted leaves from the backyard. My sister, the slave-driver that she is, wouldn't let me take a break, even for water. Beoooooooch. Just kidding Kewa. I also vacuumed the house, and other assorted odd jobs.

Today, I unloaded 2 pick-up truckloads of dirt into my parents backyard. Let me just say, that it is not exactly easy work. I also managed to plant a very large number of plants. I'm freaking exhausted. I called my agent, to see if she had anywork for me tomorrow, and "No" was the answer. So, I'll be working my buttocks off again tomorrow in my parents backyard, unloading another 2-3 truckloads of dirt, and planting another 100 or so plants. Fun times.

Keep on keepin' on.

Again And Again And Again

Poker Content:

Here's the update to my April from hell chasing Crypto bonuses to date:

Interpoker: +$184 (including $100 bonus)
Sun Poker: -$94 (not including the $90 combo bonus of sign-up and monthly)
Poker Plex: +$83
Will Hill: +$34
UKbetting: -$130
Totalbet: -$37

Grand Total: $40 in da black

Pretty crazy swings I be takin' at da Crypto sites. Dam Limeys (is that how you spell it, or do you spell it Limies? or Limeies? or Bloody Brits? or Land where there is no dental plans?) Sorry for that.


Non-Poker Content:

Thanks to Kewa again (although, I think that she stopped reading my blog) for sporting Bubba and I 2 tickets (sweet seats, too) to the Mavericks game. Bubba and I had a great time; I even got to meet Derek Harper. Pretty cool. We drank plenty, and ate plenty, so um, yeah, good times for all.

Keep on keepin' on.

Good Just Isn't Good Enough

The Rangers/Red Sox game was a very good game, even though the Rangers lost 2-1. Loe, starting pitcher for the Rangers, pitched one hell of a game, and only really made one mistake, that of a 2 run home run in the top of the 7th. Then a base running error on the Rangers cost us a run to tie the game. Twas a good time hanging out with my dad and my brother at a ballgame.

Tonight, Dr. Toes, a.k.a. Cameltoes, and I are going out to the Frisco Roughriders (the Rangers AA team). His realtor gave us 2 free tickets, and most of her office will be there too. I mention that because there is a pretty girl that works there that I'm gonna have to show the DD moves to. Let's see what happens.

My brother and I are going to a Mavericks game this Saturday, so that should be fun, considering that we got some pretty good seats, thanks to our sister. Thanks Kewa.

That's about all for now. Keep on keepin' on.

You'd better have that anti-tilt body armor strapped on tight.

Poker Content:

You know, the Crypto sites are a give and take proposition. Here are Aprils standings, with the bonus included.

Poker Plex: +$83 ($50 bonus)
Will Hill: +34 ($44 bonus)
UKbetting: -$130 ($44 bonus)
Totalbet: -$37 ($44 bonus)
Interpoker: -$10 (not including bonus, but I'm about 25% of the way to the $100 bonus).

Grand total: -$90

I still have 2 other sites left for the month, and the rest of Interpoker left to go. I'm gonna pull this one around. *positive thinking*

In my defense, the suckouts have been horrendous, and I'm not gonna bore you with the bloody details.

Going to the Rangers game now; it's the rubber game vs. the Red Sox. Go Rangers!

Keep on keepin' on.

Hey, Have You Met My Friend Big R?

This a girl that's just perfect for my friend Big R (sorry Lil N). I think that I can make arrangements for you to meet her, Big R, if you want.

Keep on keepin' on.

P.S. Is it just me, or does it look like she's trying to rub her breast? Another little something for ya Big R. You're welcome.

Honestly?

Yesterday something interesting happened. I went to a clinic where I was supposed to work. I arrived and introduced myself, while everybody there looked at me with a, "What the hell are you doing here?" look. I knew something was wrong. Somebody showed me to the doctor's office where I sat and talked with the other vet. She then informed me that there may be 2 vets coming in today. Not good for me.

Why is that, you ask? Because that probably means that I was going to get the shaft. So I waited around for about 30 minutes when a woman told me that the other vet was supposed to be there (even though I called on Friday to confirm that I was supposed to work) and I was not needed. THANKS A LOT!!!

I had just driven 50 minutes through rush hour traffic to get there, and I knew that I was going to hit rush hour traffic on the way back home too. Nice. So when all was said and done, I wasted about 3.5 hours of my life on this gig.

But here's the kicker. Wait for it.........The other vet that was working that day (who took my job), was an ex-girlfriend of mine. You read the previous sentence correctly. Here's something even better, she broke up with me via a "Dear John" letter.

And the hits keep coming.

The Rangers made a pathetic Opening Day showing yesterday. The Astros did too, even though they won. Now Roy Oswalt, did fantastic, but our offense was business as usual. The Astros won 1-0. How did they manage the 1 run? A wild pitch. That's right, the only offense they could muster was as a result of a pitcher getting a little crazy with the spitball.

Poker Content:
The UKbetting tables kicked my ass yesterday. I lost about $140 in about 2 hours, which is pretty impressive, when you consider that I was playing one $2/$4 table and two $1/$2 tables. It was a never-ending string of 2nd best hands (flush loosing to boat, top 2 pair losing sets, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah). Brutal.