Sorry

Sorry folks. I've been VERY busy lately, so no posting. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I did.

Tomorrow's a big day for me. Not gonna be fun.

Until later, keep on keepin' on.

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Non-Poker Content:

Imagine, if you will, a cute and cuddly 15 pound dog. He licks your face, wags his tail, and gets all excited when you come home. He's a bundle of joy. Now imagine that same dog, only with explosive, bloody diarrhea that will paint the walls at 10 feet. Add to that, this cute and cuddly dog is also hurling blood/bile/spit at every turn. Now I want to to really imagine now; think deep into your memory banks for this one. Imagine the worst smelling diarrhea that you have ever had....Come on now, I know you've had plenty of these, even you Lil N. Now add to this flavor, holding the cute/cuddly bundle of joy and getting this profuse bloody diarrhea, that smells like roses, on your pants. Then you will know what it has been like to be me this morning.

As I'm just about to brush my teeth and leave for work, my phone rings, which is odd, because the phone rarely rings at that time. I answer it and it's my clinic, telling me about this cute, bundle of joy. My receptionist called me telling me that I need to come into work ASAP because of this dog and the owner is freaking out. "Great," I think, "And I haven't even had my morning Mountain Dew yet." "Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays." Yep

Poker Content:
I'm almost done clearing my Absolute Poker deposit bonus, and man, this site is tighter than a virgin's honeypot. Not that it's anyting new. I've begun to notice something over the past few months: the sites are getting tighter (Party Poker not included). I think that most of the players now playing are much better than they were, on average, than 6 months ago. I'm seeing a lot of check raising, bluff raising on the turn, raising the flop with draws, and the like. Six to nine months ago, I rarely saw this, but now it's commonplace.

I have been analyizing my game a lot in the last few months, since I'm leaking money faster than the Titanic, and I think that these trickier players are at least partly to blame. It really is making things a lot more difficult. Before July, I was making a nice 2.5 BB/hr rate at the $0.5/$1 tables, now, it's down drastically (I don't have the data with me now, so I'm not sure what the exact number is currently). I do know one thing though, I have by far many more big loosing sessions that I do have big winning sessions. That also is eating me up. Almost every time I play $1/$2, I start out at least $15-$20 down within the first lap around the table. I don't really understand it. It's starting to get to me.

I just purchased "Winning Low Limit Hold 'em" 3rd ed. by Lee Jones. I haven't read through the entire thing, but there are some decent improvements over the previous editions. He has drastically cut the number of "speculative hands" that you can play from middle/late position, because, they can easily be a huge leak in many people's game. I tend to agree with him there. Is it correct to play 75s from late/middle position when 4 players are in? It's a tough call, as some people can make it a profitable play in the long run, but I think that most can't. I am pretty good about not getting crazy with these type of hands, but I still don't really play these types of hands. Then again, most sites I've been at are so tight, that you rarely see more than 4-5 people seeing the flop anyway, and most of the time, it's a blind-stealing slugfest.

I'll write more on the book as I read through the rest of it. And I might even put up my copy of his starting hands.

I can't wait to get home for Thanksgiving. Hey Mom, have the peach pie ready for me, I'm coming home. Keep on keepin' on kids.

Interesting

Here's an interesting hand. I'm playing $1/$2 at Absolute Poker (click link on right for up to $500 deposit bonus). I'm in the BB w/Ad5d. Under the gun (UTG) limps, MP dude raises. I call, and limper folds. Flop is AsKd4d. Nice, right? I check-raise, and he calls. Turn is the ooooh sooo sweet Qd. Money shot baby. I bet, he raises, I re-raise. Nice. Very nice. River is a Qc. At this point I think, "Hey, maybe he has AQ or KQ, or if I'm lucky, AK." I, like and IDIOT, bet out, he insta-raises me. I of course call, as he shows me KQos. I say "WOW, that hurt," as he rakes in a $27 pot. Christmas came early to that cat, and a nice kick in the junk for me.

Now I also realize that I probably shouldn't have called the raise from the BB, so maybe I deserved to get kicked in the nads.

The other hand that finished me off, I mean too the felt was this hand. I'm in BB w/AA (I actually was not at all happy to get it, seriously). EP calls and Button raises, I 3 bet it and both call. Flop is K63 rainbow. I bet, both call. Turn is a 9, I bet, MP calls, Button raises, I reraise, MP calls, and Button caps. I only have $2 left so I call, knowing full well that I'm toast. River is a 5, I check and call. The villain in the BB flips over 99 for a set of 9's. That was a really quick way to blow through $40 in 2 hands (which was basically all I played in the 1 hour that I played). After the hand I type sarcastically, "Well played." Dude says, "Thank you." The limper that folded said, "I agree." WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Not that anybody actually wanted to read this crap, but I feel a little better getting that off my chest. It didn't help that about 2 hours before this session, I got creamed for another buy-in at the 6 person max table in 20 minutes. I even had my KK beat by K4os. How could he have won, you might ask? He hit his 4 card flush. Oh, well he must have flopped the flush draw. No....the flop was QcJc6d. He had nothing. Brilliant play. Why is it that I can consistently book big losses, but can rarely book a big win??? Lately (since July) these kinds of ball-busting sessions are becoming more and more frequent. This is insanity at it's finest.

Keep on.......ah screw it. Poker sucks.

Oh My

Here's something really, really screwed up. You know the 18 yr. old that killed his 14 yr. old girlfriend's parents? Here's his blog. There are a boatload of comments, which are kind of hard to understand, since most of the people that have commented are probably 16 themselves, and can't write a coherent sentence to save their life, but it's interesting. It's pretty sad. You've got to be REALLY screwed up to think that killing your girlfriend's parents is a good idea, much less that you could actually get away with it. Who do you think is gonna one of the police's first suspect? Yep it's gonna be the 18 yr. old boyfriend. You gonna be locked up for a long time. As was said in Office Space, "Be sure to protect your cornhole." You damn right.

That's it for now. Keep on keepin' on.

PS. Here's the link to the 14 yr. old's blog. Crazy stuff.

Oh the Humanity

Saturday night was an interesting night at the casa (that means house, for those of you that don't speak Spanish). We had our weekly poker home game. I guess you can call it weekly, if by weekly you mean once every month or so. I think it's because Big R is scared of me, but it could also be because we consistently play with guys that are between the ages of 19 and 21. Scary, I know. To sum up, a plethora (Jefe, do you know what it means to have a plethora?) of verbal insults, bad beats, and the usual ballyhoo (sp?) were had. Also, enough Miller Lite was downed to keep a battleship full of sailors sauced for hours. Needless to say, nobody did a lot the next day. My roommate even emptied his entrails on the way to work Sunday morning. Good times. Good times.

My roommate got way more than his fair share of bad beats. Allow me to show you an example.*

Poker Content:

He's on the button w/AA, the SB is a very loose player (calls almost every hand), and I'm in the BB w/KQs. Roommate raises, SB calls, as do I. Flop comes QA3, and it checks all around. Turn is a T. Blinds check and Roommate bets, and we both call. River kills me as a K hits the board. SB checks, I bet, roommate calls, SB raises (he also makes a lot of bluff raises too), so we both call. I obviously have the worst of it, as the SB flips over J5sooooooted to take down the pot. Needless to say, Roommate is not happy, as this is about the 3rd or 4th bad beat he's taken.

Example #2: I'm in the BB again, w/Th9h. It folds to roommate on the button. He raises w/KdTd, SB folds, and I smile and call. Flop comes 4hTc8h, and I'm diggin' it. I check, he bets, I raise him. He grunts and calls. Turn is a Ts and I bet and roommate calls. River kicks Roommate in the nads as it's a 9s. I bet and he calls, and I flip over the sweetness of the T9soooooted. I realize that this isn't a true bad beat, as I had plenty of outs to overtake him, but it was pretty damn funny to beat him.

Example #3. I'm in the BB again, with Roommate again on the button. He again makes a blind-steal type raise, and I have T9os. Since I had just cracked him about 30 minutes ago with T9s, I have to call it. Flop hits T37, rainbow board. I bet, he calls, turn is a blank, I bet, he calls. River kicks him in the nads, as it's a 9. I bet and he calls, and I show my T9. He mucks, but tells me that he had K9sooooted. He says disgustedly, "I had you so dominated before the flop." I smile and say, "Yes you did, but I had T9, so I had to win."

The beats kept coming, as the next hand will further explain. Roommate has QQ UTG, and Loosey-Goosey (same guy as described in SB in first example) calls w/98os. Flop comes 922. Roommate bets, Loosey calls. Turn brings an 8, and Roommate bets all-in, and Loosey calls. You can guess what the river brings, a 9, giving Loosey a ball-busting full house. Roommate is, how can I say this, MAAAAAAAAD!

There were 3-4 more rough beats that he took during the night, but I can't remember all of the details very clearly. I even supposedly went blind all-in, again him on the very last hand of the night, got 84os, he got JJ, and I nailed the straight on the river. I really don't remember that, as it's just a vague memory, but I'll take it. It was 2:30 A.M, and we had been playing cards for about 8-9 hours, so I can't remember dem all.

* I should add that we all get a twisted pleasure outta sucking out on Roommate.

I Deserve a Pat on the Back Today

Poker content:

Yesterday was a marathon of bonus whoring. I downloaded both Totalbet and UKBetting last night, and managed to burn through both of there bonuses none the worse for wear. They are Crypto sites, so their interface is exactly the same as Interpoker and Will Hill. The only real difference between the sites is the color schemes, for those of you that are into interior design. Now I'm gonna have to find some more sites to bet my grubby claws into.

My only problem is with neteller. Well, it's nothing that they've done wrong, it's just a technicality, really. You see kids, as I've been bonus whoring around, I've been using Neteller's InstaCash for depositing. Well that's fine, as I get the $ in the site immediately, but the problem is that it takes about 4-5 working days for the transactions to clear Neteller (not my bank, mind you). Here's where the problem is: You can't withdraw any funds from Neteller until the InstaCash money is cleared in Neteller. So as you can see, that's a few bones floating in cyberspace, and I'm stuck watching the paint dry. Thrilling.

In addition, with the exception of Will Hill, you have to wait for a PIN number to be snail mailed to you (which takes 5-10 business days if you be American, beeeeeooooooch). Which, in and of itself, isn't a bad thing, but now that I've cleared the Will Hill, UKBetting, and TotalBet bonuses, I have a lot of bones that are needed in other sites for a better return on my investment than sitting in cyberspace. I guess in my never-ending quest to fight The Man, The Man really is bringing me down. Argh, foiled again. The Man is a sneaky bastage. Watch out.

Non-Poker Content: (for those of you not of the degenerate gambling variety):

The scene: My backyard. Dog involved: My dog Daisy. The Mission: To dig as many freaking wholes as possible whilst completely ignoring owner's constant verbal batterings. If you choose to accept this mission Daisy, your reward will be great. Such as muddy paws that work great for tracking mud all over the house. Secondary benefit of jumping on owner's freshly ironed pants will get you bonus points. You must remember to run like a chicken with it's head cut off as soon as you dash through the back door, narrowly missing your owner's clutches (that adds to the thrill factor). Secondary objective: chew up the door to the storage shed - Mission Completed, complete destruction of said door with evidence strewn all over back yard. Well done Daisy, well done.

And that kids is the joy of owning a 1 year old Golden Retriever. And you just thought she was cute, but I really think that she's possessed.

That's all I have to say about that, as I have to go to work on this lovely Saturday (screw you Big R). Keep on keepin' on.

P.S. We are having Poker Night again at my house for the first time since Labor Day. LOTS of beer, Jager, and what-have-you will be consumed. Will have a report once my head eventually stops feeling like a freight train ran me over, which should be sometime around 5 PM on Sunday. Wish me luck!!!

Sweet. Just Plain Sweet.

I just have two words to say about this: Sweet Shemullet.*


* Thanks Lil' N for the picture. You worked hard to get it and I want everyone to know how thankful I am for your efforts. Mullet hunting really is your calling. You should look into changing your masters program into something like "Masters in Mulletary Science" or MMS for short. Think about it.

Did He Really Say That?

Poker Content:

Last night was rough, really rough. The day started out well enough, I was actually up @ Interpoker for once. Then I decided to get a little frisky. I jumped onto a $2/$4 table to try and parlay my good fortune. Danger Will Robinson, Danger. Yeah, I got beeeoooch slapped. I got hammered, but not outplayed. The cards went as Cool as Ice (Oh no he didn’t. He didn’t just make a Vanilla Ice reference. You damn right I did). By the time the smoke had settled, I was down $85, having only won 3 hands in an hour and a half. I did manage to get Aces twice though. Stole the blinds with them the first time, and won about $15 on the other. Not a way to come back for that far of a hole. I hadn’t played $2/$4 in about 4 months, as the last session I lost $100 in about 15 minutes as I got and lost these hand 4 hands in a row (AKo, AQo, AKs, ATs). I managed to hit at least top pair or better on each of those hands, but ran into better hands. That’s a way to suck a banroll dry.

I did manage to get a hold on playing with a table full of rocks. I you have to loosen up your starting hand requirements, blind steal more frequently, and bluff more often. I was reading some Mike Caro last night, and he talks about playing at a tight table (and a loose table for that matter). He states that it’s better to loosen up at either table. I found that an interesting statement, because it seems counterintuitive, to me a least, to loosen up at a loose table. The theory about that is on a tight table, you have more opportunities to bluff/blind steal, and since those opportunities come up frequently, you have to loosen up some. Now at the loose table, you need to loosen up because the table on the whole, is playing far inferior hands than would be “normal”, so even when you loosen up, your hand is going to be better than the average hand out there. Interesting, isn’t it?

Non-Poker Content:

There is one distinct advantage to being a veterinarian over a “real doctor”. What may that be you ask? Well, I’m glad that you asked. The answer: We get to say the word “bitch” and not get slapped in the face when we say it. For example, imagine saying this sentence in your place of work. “Yeah that bitch looks like she’s ready to mate.” Or this: “That bitch looks like she’s in heat.” Or this: “I told you that bitch crazy!” O.K., maybe the last one I haven’t actually said before, but you get the point. Imagine going to your “real doctor” and having him say that to your or your wife/girlfriend/mom. Now you truly see the demented pleasure I get every now and then.

For instance, right now my technicians are getting a radiograph (X-Ray) on a bitch that was in heat in September, and got “hooked up” (I kid you not, my record has this on it, “Hooked up on September 25). Now the owner wants to know if this bitch is actually pregnant. I’m waiting with the excitement of a 5 year old on Christmas morning. O.K., not really, but I don’t think that this bitch is pregnant.

Update: The owner was disappointed that his bitch isn’t pregnant. Wow, I’ve said “bitch” a lot in this post and not once was it used inappropriately. Take that.

Well, now that I’ve fully taken advantage of my “using the word bitch” privileges for the week, I’d better get back to work. Keep on keepin’ on kids.

Interpokering again

Warning: All poker content here, so my reader(s) that don't know a thing about poker can probably just skip this post altogether. Although, I may make fun of somebody down the line, so you might miss something.

During my initial deposit bonus fiasco at Interpoker (click on link to the right for your $90 bonus), I added onto my dwindling stack by $25, so I would be able to clear the bonus with some bankroll to spare. Unfortunately for me, it was November, and that $25 add-on counted for my deposit reload bonus for November. So kids, what have we learned today? Make sure if you add on at Interpoker, that if it's the next month, you add-on for the full $90, lest you end up like me. Although, now I only have 125 raked hands to clear, so it won't be sooo bad. I'm gonna have to hunt up some other bonuses for the month. Time to hit up Sound of a Suckout's list again.

On a related note, Cameltoes made the initial 100% deposit bonus (up to $500) at Titan poker. He reports that it's gonna be pretty tough to clear in the allotted 3 months, due to low traffic at the site. They do dole out the bonus in $10 increments, so that's at least nice. He also hit up Doyle's room for their bonus. There you have to actually enter a pot for the hand to count, making the bonus a little difficult to clear. The best way to do it is to play stud (5 or 7 card), as you have to ante every hand, therefore making the bonus that much faster to clear.

I did dabble in some $1/$2 5 card stud last night on Paradise (see link at right). I lost about $13 in about 30 minutes, as the only hand that I won was with a pair of 2's. Nice. Actually that was the best hand I got the entire time. I quit because I was getting tired, and I had already had 3 Corona Lights (thanks Dad and Mom) in my system. I figured that I'd better read up on some stud tips before I delve into it much further.

I think that I'm gonna try to play some other poker games now. I actually had fun playing 5 card stud, even though I really don't have a freaking clue as to what I'm doing. No matter. I think that I'm going to start with 5 card rather than 7 card, because, frankly, I just seem more interested in it. It's interesting that there is only 1 down card and 4 up cards to each player. Trying to guess if the person has the hand or not makes it quite challenging.

Ta ta for now. Keep on keepin' on.

Bonus Whoring Again

Don't you just love walking home from the bar? Me too. Big R, N, and I went to the local watering hole, the Texas Saloon, on Saturday night. After we'd been there a while, Big R, in his sober state, decided that he needed to find me a resident barfly. Nice Big R, nice. He finds a, how do I say this, a not so skinny girl that he thinks that I would enjoy talking to. Very funny, but by this point I was pretty tired and was wanted to head home. So, after some polite small talk, I decided that I'd had enough. I told Big R and N goodbye, (and I told Big R that he was a jerk, and his reply, "Payback's a beeeoooch."), and took off home.

And now for a new award.......Stupid Guy Walking Home Award:
You see kids, my house is very close to the ole Saloon, and I started my quest to find the way home. I realized that I wasn't exactly confident about the terrain, and when I reached a drainage ditch, I had a problem. I looked in either direction, and could see no end in site (it was also almost pitch black where I was standing, which is about to come into play). I decided that I could kinda hop over that sucker, because it looked dry. WRONG ANSWER!!! I made a half-hearted leap and didn't quite make it, well I wasn't even close to making it. The splashing sound that I heard as my foot landed made me realize the error of my ways. Luckily, I lather enough mink oil on my boots, that my foot stayed nice and dry, but my jeans looked like I had just walked through a sewer, which I guess I had. Congrats to me; I won!!! I'd like to thank my Parents for raising such a smart son. They tried at least.

POKER TALK NOW:
I managed to clear the Will Hill bonus rather nicely. Made off with a net $68 profit for about 6 hours work. Not too shabby. Now I'm up $15 between Interpoker and Will Hill (insert pat on the back here). I started playing right after the WSOP had finished airing tonight. I think that it's usually a good time to play, although the variance can be a little rough, since lots more people are playing than normal. I think that they get done watching T.V. and think, "Dang that (insert poker player name here) made a stupid move. I can do much better than that." So they fire up the ole computer and make the tables a LOT more interesting. Anyone else notice the difference?

Keep on keepin' on.

It’s Just Another Manic Monday

Sometimes I just love waking up in the morning.  Especially when I walk into my office and see a 20 pack of Miller Lite bottles on my chair, a birthday present from my boss.  Gotta love it.  Has your boss ever given you the gift of ale as a gift?  Yeah, I didn’t think so, suckas.

I saw the movie “Jarhead” on Saturday.  AWESOME!!!  I highly recommend it.  Although, I didn’t appreciate the token ass shots that they had to throw in there.  It’s not violent, so if you’re looking for a “war” movie, it’s not that type.

I need to clarify something about my Interpoker fiasco.  I LOST $53 in the deal.  That means I bought in for $190 and I cashed out $137 (including the $90 bonus).  Yeah, poker’s been going that well.  

I’m pretty tapped out from this weekend, being with the padres and all.  We had a great time, and I got to eat some good meals, since I rarely eat out.  Warning, Sappy Comment:  Thanks again Dad and Mom, I love ya’ll.  See, I warned you.

That’s all I have to say about that.  Keep on keepin’ on.

Mule Math

Now, I'm no math major like N (Geomerty rules!), but I don't think losing $53 chasing a $90 bonus is a good thing. I'm just checking. There are only one of two conclusions to draw from this (and the last 3 1/2 months): 1) I suck at poker, or 2) Ms. Variance is really, really putting a hurt on me.

And to add to that kick in the nads, my dog Daisy has been hurling her guts out for the last 16 or so hours. I'm pretty worried that she's got something stuck in her stomach/small intestines. I really don't want to have to do surgery on her. Why's that you may ask? Because I'd then have to cut open her stomach (the actual organ) or her intestines to pull out the object. Not fun.

Keep on keepin' on.

I'm All Grows Up

Well, it’s the end of an era. Today marks the first day out of my 20’s. Yep kids, I’m freaking 30 today. I guess that means that I should be married have about 2.5 kids, and a house with a white picket fence by now. That’s funny, especially if you know me. Instead, I’m single, have 2 dogs, and have a 19 year-old roommate. Now that’s funny, and you don’t even have to know me.

My parents are on their way to celebrate this glorious occasion (sarcasm), and I have absolutely no idea what we will do this weekend, other than drink copious amounts of fermented hops and barley of the Miller Lite variety. Hello beer gut! Hey I’m 30 now, ain’t I supposed to have a beer gut? Oh yeah, and I finally get to wear the wife beater shirts now. Kick ass. Maybe this turning 30 thing isn’t sooooo bad. But I also have male pattern baldness to look forward to, not so cool. Unless, I combine the three into an unholy trifecta: beer gut, wife beater shirt, and male pattern baldness. And then I’ll really wonder why I’m single.

As an aside, now that I’m 30, does that mean I have to take down the street sign I have as “art” in my living room?……………I don’t think so, but any comments on that will be appreciated and taken with a grain of salt.

Poker Topic of the Day (so anyone not interested in it can skip the next 2 paragraphs):

I have absolutely no good idea how to play in a SUPERTIGHT/AGGRESSIVE table. Interpoker’s (click on the link to the right for a $90 bonus) $1/$2 tables are incredibly tight, and they frequently end up being a Wrestlemania for the blinds. I discussed this exact topic with good ole Cameltoes this morning, and he said he was only ramming and jamming if he hit the flop. Not a bad idea, I guess. We are also bonus whoring so, the goal is to break even, and I think that it’s a pretty good strategy for this setup. What about if you’re trying to make money, as in without a bonus on the way? I think that it depends on the table dynamics. Is it constantly a blind-stealing mega-fight-fest (tight-aggressive table)? Are there people just limping in continuously (tight-passive table)? I can handle the tight-passive table with no problems. Ram and Jam is the way to go (and no Big R, I’m not talking about you and Betty Crocker).

With the tight-aggressive table, I think that you have 2 options. One is to play super tight like the rest of the field and grind it out. The other is to open up a little bit and try and blind steal more than your fair share. Option one is going to get you to break-even poker. Your not going to win much, and your not going to loose much either. Option 2 is going to have more variance, but I think that it’s the way to go over the long haul, as far as profits go. Am I totally off base here? Comments would be appreciated, and I will take them seriously…..maybe.

I just got urinated on by a 4 month old “Rockweilder”, because he’s not leash trained and scared out of his mind. As a side benefit, he sprayed anal gland jizz on my pants. For those of you that are untrained in the veterinary arts, dogs have 2 anal glands at 5 o’clock and 8 o’clock around, what else, the anus. They secrete a smell that can only be beaten by Big R’s farts. And now I have that smell on me. Happy Birthday to me! Great, just great.

Well, I hope that brought some joy to your life, as I know it didn’t for me. Just kidding. Keep on keepin’ on kids.

Editor's note: I just had AA beaten by A4sooooooted. The mother-trucker was in the BB an called a raise and a reraise. Flop comes 245 rainbow(no runner flush draw). He checks and cold calls another 2 bets cold, and then another raise. Turn is K, again checks and calls 2 bets cold. River comes a 4 and I for some odd reason had a really bad feeling he had a 4. Please help me. This is one helluva loosing streak. That pretty much sums up the past 3 1/2 months of poker playing.

Editor's note #2: I had AA beaten by 98sooooooted (calling 2 bets cold I might add). Mother trucker flopps JT7 for the Jack high straight. I did get justice against the same guy when I hit quad 8's. He even bet & reraised my on the river w/his QTsoooooted (he flopped a pair of Q's). Maybe there is justice afterall.

Hi-ho, Hi-Ho, It's Off to Work I Go

Since their oldest child is turning the milestone of 30 tomorrow, my parents will be gracing me with their presence this weekend. I guess I'd better finally get rid of my dancing midgets, stripper pole, and the 6 inches of filth built up on my floor. It's as good a reason as any to clean up the pad. Although, all I really need to do is give it a light once over, and have Mom do the rest (Hi Mom!).

I'm 76% of the way through Interpoker's initial bonus. Slow and steady wins the race they say. I guess that's what I'm doing. I know that Scurvy talked about how the 1/2 tables aren't too bad, which I guess that they aren't, to a point. I've realized that almost every table is filled with rocks, and so most of the time, it boils down to a constant blind stealing fight fest. Everyone pretty much just trades each other's money around, trying to clear the bonus. If you can find a looser table, then it's not too bad. After playing at one 1/2 table for about 45 minutes, I decided to get frisky. In early position I decided to raise with A5os. Bad idea. The guy 2 downstream from me insta-raises, and everyone else folds. I realized the right decision would be to fold, but nah, I'm too thick headed for that. I call and the flop comes out 927 rainbow. I decided that I was toast (what every gave me that idea you may ask). So I checked and folded. So much for getting a little wild hair up my anus. Sigh.

I still think that one of the hardest desicions in poker is what to do with overcards when the flop misses your sweet butt completely. Scurvy has a great post about this exact topic, but I still can't get it through my thick skull. This requires finesse of some other form that I just can't get a grasp on. I think that I do O.K., but it's still hard to judge wether or not that cat who smooth called 3 bets cold is holding big noises (AA-TT), big tickets (i.e. AK, KJ, QT, etc.), just a small medium/small pair, or hopelessly holding onto the hammer (72os). And is he/she gonna call my continuous arsenal of bets thrown in his/her general direction? You'd think after playing thousands and thousands of hands I'd have this down pat, but no.

Did I ever tell you about the time Big R was with a girl named Betty Crocker? Well let's just say that she was "randy for Big R" and liked to cook him assorted baked goods. Nice huh? Sorry Big R, I had to get that in here.

I think that my head is starting to hurt from all this deep thinking. In the meantime, "Take care of yourself, and each other." Thanks Jerry Springer for the advice.

Keep on keepin' on.

Blogger Ate My Post

Blogger Ate My Post.

Mother Trucker!!!!! My brilliant prose was eaten by a cyber-monkey, who then threw his feces at me, just to mock me. I’m way to mad to try and recreate the dashing prose. Oh Well.

Keep on keepin’ on.

Paradise Lost (and Found)?

After grinding and grinding and grinding at Paradise, I finally cleared their Halloween bonus. And how much did I make for my efforts? Well, without the bonus I lost $3.50. That's right, I lost. I played about 2,400 hands (3 tabling) over the last 3.5 days and came out losing. UNBELIEVABLE. Before August, I was averaging almost 3BB/hr on the $0.5/$1 tables, and now I can't even turn a small profit there anymore. I think that it's the end of the world. At least I earned my $100 bonus there. So I'll take the $96.50 profit and run with it. Although this session doesn't make my Poker Analyst graph look any better. As an aside, if you're not using this FREE program from cardplayer.com, you should.

Now that I'm done with Paradise's bonus, I'm trying to decide on what to do with Interpoker's bonus. You see, I have put in $165 to get a $90 bonus. If, and that's a big if, I finally clear the bonus, I'd be about even, as of now. If I decide to cut my losses and forget it, as I'm only 56% of the way through, I would be down $90 there. I wish I knew the correct answer. It's kind of like dating someone for a long time. You have invested a lot of time and effort into the relationship, but you don't think that it's gonna work out. So you have choice a) break up and take your losses like a man, er, little boy. Or choice b) suck it up and drudge onward to try and force that sucker to work. Either way, it's at best a break-even proposition.

Speaking of propositions, have I got an interesting story to tell. About 2.5 years ago, four of us guys got together in Houston. After hanging out at a bar for about an hour, we decided to leave that joint, because as they say in Swingers, "This place is dead anyway." As we were walking in the parking lot a car slowly pulls up next to us. In it were 2 black women. Odd, I thought, that 2 black women would start talking to 4 honkies like us, but no matter. The passenger asks us (or I should say, "axes" us) what we were gonna do that night. I, still clueless as to what was on her mind, said that we were headed to another bar. After some prodding, she suggests that we go to a hotel room. "Holy STD Batman, I think that she's getting to something here." We say no, and then she says something that will never leave this head of mine: "You don't want to get your d#%k sucked and f#$ked real good before you go out tonight?" I almost fell over in the parking lot. So I politely declined and they sped off (I think pretty pissed off that they missed out on some DD loving). And that kids, is what it's like to live my life. Like a motha-truckin' pimp. You betta axe somebody.

I'm out. Keep on keepin' on.