The Move Of Shame

Well, I'm gonna do it....I'm gonna make the "Move of Shame" and move in with my parents.

Yep, I'm lame.

My plan is to stay there for about 6-8 weeks, and in that amount of time I am hoping for decent housing to open up, but we will see. Plus, I'll be able to save about $1500-$2000 in that amount of time, which isn't a bad deal either.

So, tomorrow is the big moving day. Cameltoes (a.k.a. Chief Pounds on Toes) and I will get to enjoy moving in the rain and the cold. Kinda like when Big R and I moved my stuff to southeast Houston. Ah, memories.

I also got chewed out both verbally and via email because I move too much. I was trying to order some medication for a dog on Monday. When I woke up on Tuesday morning, I had a nasty email saying that they needed a copy of my "current veterinary license." Since I wasn't near a fax then, I planned on waiting until today to fax it.

Well, last night, the lady called me. She was not very happy with me. She said, "I wish I could move 3 times in a year. It's not that I don't trust you, but..........we really need proof that you are a practicing veterinarian, so send us your license."

She verbally bitch-slapped me from across the country, and I didn't do anything wrong. Plus, I am the one that has to actually go the extra mile here, not her. She is from New Jersey, so that explains a lot. Plus, I ain't exactly trying to order Special K to sell to all of the kids. I'm buying joint supplements for a dog with arthritis.

I just called them to see if they got my fax, and so now I can order the medicine. Yipee!

Keep on keepin' on.

The Days Of Our Lives

I think that I need to change the title of this here blog to match the above soap opera title. It would seem more appropriate, I think. I feel like lately, this title applies even more so.

Now, the newest chapter in the episode entitled, "Where in the Fudge is Double D Gonna Live?" we add this option in the mix: living with my parents.

Gasp. Shudder. Ooohs and Ahhhs.

Now before you judge me for being "that guy" who is 31, a professional, actually has a job, and actually has social skillz, let me explain.

My options right now for housing are not ideal and I am not finding one that doesn't have SIGNIFICANT disadvantages. I really don't want to be locked into a place that I really don't want to live in for 6-12 months, especially when I'm rushing a decision.

Yep, I'm lame for even considering living with my parents. I know it. Not exactly really cool.

In fact, I might even cry about it.

But, it would also have some SERIOUS advantages to it. Namely:
1) Free rent (need I say more)
2) I actually like spending time with them, and a few months might be a good thing.
3) I'd only be there for 2-4 months methinks. That would be enough time for things in my life to settle down a bunch.

Plus all of the cool kids are doing it.........Those under the age of 12, but who's counting?

Such is my life, and "So are the days of our lives."

Keep on keepin' on

Trailer Trash, Revisited

Well folks, I looked at the trailer house today, and it's not bad at all. It's an older trailer, but he remodeled the kitchen with all new appliances. It even comes with a washer/dryer. It's a 3 bedroom/1.5 bath. The landlord is a very nice guy. It's even located in a nice trailer park/neighborhood. Go figure.

So basically, the only disadvantage is the drive. It would be a 30-40 minute commute, which is a bummer. My other realistic option is an apartment complex located about 10-15 minutes away from the clinic. But it would be a 1 bedroom apartment, and not a 3 bedroom, kickass trailer house.

I guess that I'm gonna ruminate over this for a while.

I also sent off an email to my future boss about my proposed salary. I'm pretty much asking for about $10,000 to $15,000 more than he's offering. Even then, I'd be taking a $10,000 to $15,000 pay cut from what I'm making now.

We shall see.

Keep on keepin' on.

Choices

Have you ever stopped to really think about choices? And I'm not even necessarily talking about the ones that are huge in your life. Like, "Should I take this job out of state?" or "Should I put Mom in this or that nursing home?" No, I'm really talking about the ones that are on the middle ground area.

Sometimes, in that brief 1-5 second period of time when I have to make a given decision, I will step back from the situation. It's almost like an out of body experience. I almost can see myself from another person's standpoint. It's kinda like watching a movie.

A given situation arises and all of a sudden I realize that I have to make a decision; I'm at a crossroads. I can almost see both of the situations unfold in that brief few seconds when that decision has to be made. Somehow I manage to make the choice to pull the lever on Option A or Option B, and go on with life.

Sometimes I think about that. What would have happened if I would have pulled the Option B lever, instead of the Option A lever. I'm not talking about regretting a decision, but I'm merely pondering about the other possible outcome. Would it really have made my life any different?

And maybe I'm really talking about all of this since I'm at a MAJOR turning point in my life. Where everything is turning into crossroad-type decisions. I have to choose Door #1 or Door #2, and it ain't exactly Monty Hall, in his freaked-out polyester suit, offering me a brand new Yugo instead of taking either Door.

It's like I can almost see where each road/Door is gonna take me, but I don't quite have enough information in my mule brain to make the decision.

Sometimes I think about what would have happened if I had opened the other one. You only really have a few fleeting seconds to make that decision, but it seems like so much longer sometimes.

Such is my life right now. I am at The Crossroads right now. I have Monty Hall trying to make a deal with me, and I'm not really sure I like any of the options. Yet, I have to believe that there is a purpose to all of this. Some sort of sanity behind the seemingly insane, but how much can one really know before you decide to bite the bullet and open Door #2?

You gotta pull the trigger sometime, don't you? Well I'm not exactly sure what the heck is happening right now, but it ain't pretty.

Why is it that all of the big decisions in life seem to have to be made all at once?!?!?



I may be really, really rambling right now. I'm really, really tired and stressed, and way to freakin' full of major decisions to speak/write coherently.

At least I don't have to work tomorrow. And I get to check out an "older model trailer house" just north of Ft. Worth tomorrow. But can you blame me? The rent is only $700/month, and that ain't half bad for a chance to live Jethro style.

Choices. Ch-ch-changes. Choices. Ch-ch-changes. Choices.

Keep on keepin' on.

Dogs And Cats Living Together......Mass Hysteria!!!

Ten bucks if you can name the film that the quote is from.*

My life has been that as of late. My living situation is really no further along than it was a week ago. Although, I am gonna look at another trailer house tomorrow, so things are looking up (pink flamingos here I come!!!).

I also talked to my future boss on Monday. We were supposed to talk about my contract and other assorted issues related to my employment. Basically I got nowhere. We interviewed a technician, and then spent a grand total of about 20 minutes going over a couple of issues of the clinic. He told me that he wants to discuss my contract in the next "week or so." The clinic is gonna open in about 5-6 weeks, so methinks it's a bit late for that.

So now I'm in the process of writing an email going over my take on the situation. He is planning on paying me a salary that we decided on about a year and a half ago. Well, that salary would entail me in taking a $25,000 pay cut from what I'm making now. I will get the opportunity to make a bonus in the long run, and I think that the bonus will be quite substantial in the future. But for now, that doesn't do me any good. If I take the package as is, then I will be in the red about $800-$1200 each month. Not a good way to prosper in this here world.

Many thanks to those of you out there that have/are helping me in this endeavor.

As I once told Annie when we first started dating, "I'm not boring, just so you know." Neither is my life. Is that supposed to be a good thing?

Now I have multiple options for living, and also employment. If I piss off "The Man With The Plan" (i.e. my future boss) then I can continue doing relief work and not skip a beat. Or I can take one of the 2 offers that I have for other full-time work.

Ch-ch-changes.

So, to sum up:

I still don't have .....
1) a place to live, even though I've spent about 4 days total over the last week looking at places
2) a contract that I can go by for my future employment
3) a 100% guarantee of full-time employment at the place that I have thought I would work at for the last year and a half.
4) a clue as to why I'm such a tall drink of water.

But, I do have......
1) a "horse-like" appendage (Just in case you were wondering.)

Keep on keepin' on.


* I won't actually give anybody $10, but the answer is "Ghostbusters."

Trailer Trash?

I have spent the last 2 days trying to find a new place to live, since Chief Pounds on Toes is moving back to Oregon. Let me give you a run-down of my search.

1) A 2 bedroom/1 bathroom house for $615 that I wouldn't let my dogs live in. If the rent was $250, that would be about $200 too high. There were holes in the walls in numerous places. Actually holes in the walls. Cold air just blasting through them. Nice. So, um, not for me.

2) Another 2 bedroom/1 bathroom house located 1 block away from house #1, but it was nicer, although not by much. It's going for $800/month, and to me, paying about $450/month would be a lot more appropriate. Whoever designed this house had to have been smoking crack, because there is absolutely NO logic in it's design. I'd consider it if I could get it for $750 or less. At least it has a fenced in yard for my hounds, and it does have central heat and a/c. So this one is a bit further down on the list.

3 & 4: These 2 houses are located on the same property of 1.5 acres, although one of the houses is on the majority of it. They are going for $875 each and I think that is about $150 or so too much, for what you are getting. They are both old houses, 2 bedroom/1 bath, that have a lot to be desired. They do have central heat and a/c. They have different floor plans, and I'm leaning on getting one of them, but I'm not quite sure. The houses aren't exactly pieces of shite, but they are pretty close, although they are 33% better than house #2.

5) This one kicks ass. It's a 3 bedroom/2 bath......wait for it......trailer house. It's on 1 acre, and it has two, count 'em two, broken down trucks in the back yard. It's also located in a trailer park, that is pretty freakin' scary. Oh, and one of the bedrooms is painted pink. Just my cup of tea. I personally think that it would be pretty hilarious to live in a trailer house, and I wouldn't have any problem living there, but I think that Annie and my mom would flip if they knew I was gonna live there. It's going for $850/month, and it's by far the best house that I've seen. I'm not kidding.

6) Another 2 bedroom/1 bath piece of crap house, only this one is going for $950, which is waaaaaaaaaaay too much. It does not have central a/c or heat, and in fact, the only heater is located in the living room! So I told the realtor that I'd consider living there for $850-$875, so I will have to see. It does have a nice yard though, and a small part of it is fenced for my hounds. This one is at the bottom of my list too.

7) Apartment complex #1: Welcome to the ghetto (or in this case, the barrio). The apartments themselves aren't that bad, and I wouldn't mind living there. The rent would be $650 + $75 per month, with the $75 extra for a garage. I'd have to get the garage, or else I really think that the vatos would steal my truck.

8) Apartment complex #2: This is living the high life, as these are very nice. The only problem is that the rent is $875 or $1055 for a 2 bedroom/1 bath apartment, which to me, is a lot to have to pay for an apartment with not a lot of "extras" like massages with "happy endings." Then it would be worth it. Methinks that I'd end up on the 2nd or 3rd floor, which is NOT gonna work with 2 full-sized dogs. Bastages.

So I'm back to work tomorrow and that pretty much takes away that day for house hunting. Since I have to work on Saturday, I will only have about 2 hours to look then. That leaves Sunday for my decision, and I'm not exactly thrilled about any of my options so far. I'm pretty much looking at getting taken to the cleaners any way I slice it. Bastages.

Wish me luck.

Keep on keepin' on.

The Motor City?

Last night I met an interesting person. Bubba, his girlfriend, Annie, and I went to Billy Bob's to watch Reckless Kelly and Cross Canadian Ragweed. Well, it was PACKED, and Bubba's girlfriend was bound and determined to find a place to sit. Well, as I said, it's packed in there, and I didn't think that she had a snowball's chance in hell of finding a table, but she did.

Well, at a table were two girls of 25 years of age. They were Kansas State grads, and were very nice to let us sit at there table. One of the girls had gotten up, and I didn't want the other one to feel weird, since there were 4 complete strangers sitting at her table with her. I introduced myself and she did too.

Then she told me what the other girl's name was. She said, "Her name is Brooklyn. And her middle name is Cleveland, but her friends call her Detroit."

To which I replied, "Of course they do. What else would they call her?"

I don't know why, but I think that is pretty dang funny. It should be a movie, or a song at least. So now I'm trying to figure out how to write a song about a girl named Brooklyn Cleveland, but goes by Detroit.

After the concert ended, we started to head home, and just as I was turning out of the parking lot, I saw a P.O.S. car stalled in the right lane, with no lights on at all. I swerved to avoid hitting it, and I decided to stop and see if I could help (Maybe not the smartest decision I've ever made, since it was 1:30 A.M., and they could have killed me, but I digress.).

This is the scene. There are two men of about 25 years of age, a women in her early 20's, and a 9 month old in the back seat. One of the men is at the front of the car, and the other is in the driver's seat. I asked them if they are O.K., and they really didn't answer me. Odd.

I asked the guy at the front of the car if he was with them, and he said, "No."

I then asked, "Did you just walk up here to help them?"

"Yes," he replied.

Very odd.

I then ask the driver what's wrong with the car......No answer. I asked him if he could turn on his hazard lights......No answer. I ask them where they want to push the car. One of them said they wanted to put it back in the parking lot.

So I almost single-handedly push the car the 30 yards or so back into the parking lot. I then ask the driver if he has help coming. He looks at me blankly and says nothing. I ask him if he needs anything else. He says, "No."

I then realize that there is not anything else for me to do, so I say good bye and run back to my truck.

They didn't even thank me. Not surprising though, is it?

Keep on keepin' on.

Good Times

Well, it's Sunday morning at 9:05 A.M., and unfortunately for me, I'm awake. I guess my body says that 5.5 hours of sleep is enough for me.

Here's the weekend in a nutshell.

Friday: The guys got to my house, and since Big Judy's flight was delayed, we ate at Chili's for lunch. We got the party started right though, by messing with the waitress pretty good. I'm sure that she just loved us. Of course she did, we gave her a fat tip.

We picked up Big Judy from the airport and finally made it to Bossier City around 6:00 P.M. After checking in at the hotel, we found a hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. Those are always the best restaurants, in my opinion.

We then decided to hit the casino and play some blackjack. Bubba showed up shortly after that, and then the fun really started. We all managed to sit down at the same blackjack table, which was made things pretty dang interesting. Big Judy hit the sack pretty early, around 11:30, because he was pretty drunk and tired. Bubba and I were the next ones out, mainly because the dealers were bitch-slapping the shite outta us, and I was down about $200 for the evening. We did manage to get a free breakfast, valued at $7.99 (oooh, aaah), for a net loss of $192.01 for the evening. Of course I'm not including the cost of the liquor/beer that I drank, because, then I'd be ahead about $5.25 for the evening.

So, Big Judy, Bubba, and I were sound asleep in our hotel room, when at 6:15 A.M., Cameltoes came busting in, not anywhere near the land of soberdom. He was pretty dang loud, so all three of us awoke. It took me about 5 entire seconds to realize the following things: 1) where the heck I was at, 2) who the heck barged into my room, and 3) why in the heck my head was pounding so bad.

Cameltoes managed to drunk dial his girlfriend too. He really didn't carry on a meaningful conversation, needless to say.

Score after 1st night: Casino: -1, All of our livers: -1,000, Wallets: Negative untold hundreds of dollars, Bossier City Police: -7 drunk cats on the prowl (Thank God).

By about 8:45 A.M., I awoke to Big Judy getting dressed. It didn't take me long to realize that I was pretty much up for good, so we decided to cash in on our complementary breakfast. The two of us ssssllllllooooooooowwwwwwwllllllyyyyy made our way to the casino for a pretty sorry excuse for a breakfast. We had fun just hanging out and talking. After about an hour, we headed back to the hotel, where Bubba was just waking up, and Cameltoes was none too happy that we were about to start the day. Big R called shortly thereafter to announce that the party was gonna have to start getting ready.

Around 12:30, we all headed back to the casino, because Big R, Cameltoes, Big S, and Big J all got comp'd lunches. Bubba joined them and Big Judy and I played some blackjack. In short order, all of us guys were playing blackjack.

By the time we left, about 6:30 P.M., I had managed to make a huge comeback from yesterday, to bring myself only down $80 for the 2 days of blackjack. And when you consider the total amount of "free" drinks that I consumed, I figure I came out about even.

We watched the Cowboys choke against the Seachickens and ended back at the hotel (Bubba, Cameltoes, Big Judy, and I) by about 12:00 A.M. We were all hungry and we decided to find a joint to eat at.

On the way, we managed to pass not 1, not 2, but 3 police cars. I pretty much thought that we were toast, but luckily they were all headed for the doughnut shop, and not really looking for 3 drunk dudes, and a driver that was pretty sober.

We found a Shoney's and since it was all-you-can-eat, we figured it would be a good thing. Well, I couldn't really tell you a single thing that I ate, but I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. At one point, I couldn't breathe very well, and I started drooling on the table, because I was laughing so hard. That, in turn, made Big Judy start crying from laughing so hard.

When we were about finished with our meal, Cameltoes got up in a hurry and disappeared. The next thing I know, he's banging on the window frantically, trying to get our attention. Big Judy, Bubba, and I all look up just in time to see Cameltoes' nipple being pressed against the window. We all loose it, and I tell them that we'd better get our butts outta there.

Sunday morning we got up around 8:00 A.M. and Big Judy, Bubba, and I went to eat the free continental breakfast at our fine hotel. It was pretty dang shabby, and Bubba left soon after that. The group managed to hit the road by 11:00 A.M.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Cameltoes was hurling his guts out all that morning. He had vomited a bunch about 20 minutes before I jumped in the shower. I thought it was safe to take a shower, but oh, I was wrong.

I was literally about 1 minute from stepping out of the shower, when I hear Cameltoes open the door to the bathroom and say, "Whatever you do, don't step out."

I then hear the violent wretching of his stomach. So I'm stuck in the shower for about 10 minutes, all the while Cameltoes is tossing his cookies. Nice huh?

He also vomited twice while we were driving. All. Over. The. Window. Of. The. Suburban. While. We. Were. Going. 70 mph.

It looked like we were going through a carwash, as his stomach contents were being sprayed all over the rear, side window. Thankfully, all of the vomitus stayed outside the vehicle.

And then we made it home.

Keep on keepin' on.

A Weekend Of Decadence

Well, it's finally here. Big R's Bachelor Party! WHHHHHHHHHOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The boys are supposed to get the the house between noon and one today, and then we will take of to pick up Big Judy at the airport. My brother is even gonna be able to make it for both nights, so that will be cool. A grand total of 7 of us, which is great, because we will be gambling, and who doesn't love "lucky" numbers when about to commence of said activities?

We are renting a Suburban for the gang to trek the 225 miles to the gambling establishments.

So, significant others of all of us guys, don't worry, I'll take care of everyone. :)

Keep on keepin' on.

Merry New Year

New Year's Eve was interesting at my household. Annie, Cameltoes, and I hung out at the house. I had just used my $100 gift card to Williams-Sonoma to buy a kick arse knife, and I was itching to use it.

So I searched the web for an interesting recipe; one that would be fun to make, and that had a bunch of steps.

So we decided on a beef "strokin' off" recipe, that we got from Williams-Sonoma's web site. It is really, really good, but it takes a lot of effort to make it. At one time, I had all four burners going, which really constitutes a good meal, right?

Well, to make a long story short, it was the best beef strokin' off I'd ever had (but come to think of it, I've only had the Hamburger Helper variety, so that's not saying much). I would highly recommend it. We even had to buy leek, which I didn't even know existed.

In case you were wondering, the knife worked wonderfully. It had better, for it cost me only $89.95 plus tax. Who would think that you could spend that much $ on a single knife? I also bought a honing steel, so my grand total was about $140. I did realize that I love that store, so it might make me just a little gay. Oh well, so I like to cook.

I'm gonna make a good wife someday.


This Friday marks Big R's Bachelor Party/Midget Parade/Donkey Show. It should be interesting. I'm getting pretty excited about it too.

I also have to get fitted for my tux. The big day will be here before we know it. Madness.

Keep on keepin' on.