More Match.com Stuff

You just can't make this stuff up. I really, really wish that I could. If my monkey brain could come up with this stuff routinely, then I'd be sipping cold beer on a beach every day for the rest of my life. Here is another chick's profile and my example #2 of brilliance in literature:

Under her introduction heading about herself and who she is looking for:

I'm 5"4, 40G and thick in the waist. I can also say I even have an azz, it took me about 26 years to get it. I'm looking for someone who's down to earth and love to chill. I need someone that I can wake up to and don't mind being seen with in public. I need a ten by my side.

Is "40G" her bra size?!?!? If so, then I'm out done right there. Plain and simple. And if it took her 26 years to get an "azz," then I'm out. And what does "someone that I...don't mind being seen with in public." mean? Or that she needs "someone that I can wake up to" or that she needs a "ten by my side?" This is just funny.

She continues and describes her ethnicity:

"Dark & Lovely"

And to finish off her stunning profile, under the heading "Last Read." Um...well...she left that blank. Seriously. She couldn't come up with anything that she last read?!?!? That's dang funny.

Keep on keepin' on.

Match.com stuff

I have been on match.com off an on for the past 5 years or so, and I've met some pretty interesting women. I've also seen some pretty dang crazy profiles too. Here is an example of one woman's paragraph to describe herself and what she wants in a man:

"I want a man who is not always thinking about themselves. One who is very romantic and not afraid to just go do something off the wall. Romance keeps a relationship going. I'm not one that just likes to go to bed have sex and then that is it. It needs to have the right mood."

If that's not poetry, then I don't know what is.

Here is what she does for fun:

"I love reading, listening to music, like action comedy movies, love meeting people far or near, i love been with friend and going out for camping and most of all been close to the nature."

Oh, she "like action comedy movies." What exactly is that? It's cool that she "love been with friend" and "been close to the nature." Astounding.

Here's more. Here is what she wrote about her job:

"I always travel ..when ever am on visiting."

What in the sam hell does that mean?!?!? I am so confused right now. So you always travel on your job, but what part of your job entails "when ever am on visiting"??!?!?!!?!?!?!!? I need to nap. But wait, there's more.

Here is what she wrote about her religion:

"I go to church when ever am around."

Good. At least she's a "church girl." I go to church "when ever am around" too. Wow, we must be soulmates!

It keeps going. Under her education, she wrote these stunningly brilliant words:

"I really miss my classmate."

She really has a gift. Seriously. I couldn't make this stuff up.

And to finish off her Shakespearian-like prose, she wrote this under the heading of Favorite Hot Spots:

"Well am new to the internet dating thing but will like to experience life with my partner.who knows..."

If she is able to tie her shoes and feed herself, I would be thoroughly impressed.

I feel like I've had my brain sucked out of my head, and watched it cooked like scrambled eggs after reading her profile.

I'm guessing that she's not picking up a lot of "educated men." Or any guy that would want to date her for longer than 5-6 sex-filled nights.

I'm gonna search for more of these beauties, and I'll post them if I find any more.

In the meantime, keep on keepin' on.

Check This Out

In case you didn't feel bad enough about Global Warming, here is a complete list of the consequences of Global Warming. Yes, even "fashion disasters" and "polar bear cannabillistic" are blamed on Global Warming. Good grief, when are people gonna wake up and see that this "Global Warming" stuff is a bunch of B.S.!!!

Keep on keepin' on.

Nice Surprise For Me

I had a great weekend. I flew to Houston to visit my sister. But all of that joy was sucked from my soul when I stepped foot into my apartment.

It flooded.

Sometime after 7:00 A.M. this past Friday, my toilet decided to keep running...and running...and running, until my entire apartment was flooded. I have no idea when the surrounding neighbors noticed it, but most of my stuff was on my bed, kitchen table, couch, etc.

And now my place smells like a swamp.

I spent about 3 hours this evening going through the damaged goods. I'm pretty dang upset because my Willie Nelson autographed guitar is ruined. I had him sign my very first guitar, so there is also a big sentimental value to it too. All of my 5 guitars, a 50-60 year old violin, and a mandolin were damaged.

Not too fun.

I'm meeting with the insurance adjuster tomorrow morning. I just hope that I don't get completely screwed on the deal.

Keep on keepin on.

A Few Comments

1. I hate the IRS. Nuff said.

2. Why on earth are we paying so much freaking $$$ in taxes, only to:
a) support well-bodied people who refuse to work?
b) pay for a vastly overbearing government
c) give it away to terrorist nations in "aid"
I could keep going, but I'll stop there.

3. I read this today from Dennis Prager

"I am convinced that human evil is so great that most people choose either to ignore it or to focus their concerns elsewhere -- like those who believe that human-created carbon dioxide emission, not human evil, poses the greatest threat to mankind. No one will ever get killed for fighting global warming. Fighting evil, on the other hand, is quite dangerous."

Sad but true. Keep on keepin' on.

Abraham Lincoln Quote

I found this quote, which was printed in an article about the US not producing many rare earth minerals anymore. I'm not gonna post that article, because it ain't exactly what this blog is about; but I did find that this quote is very, very valid for today's United States.

“It is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God … and to recognize the sublime truth, announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord. … We have been the recipients of the choicest blessings of heaven. We have been preserved, these many years, in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth and power as no other nation ever has grown; but we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious Hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own.” Abraham Lincoln.

That pretty much sums up, in my humble opinion, the US's problems today.

Keep on keepin' on.

An Update

I'll give you and update on my dating "score."

Match.com dates: 0-2

"Real World" dates (i.e., girls that I didn't meet through a computer): 0-3

I have been on anywhere from 1-4 dates with these women, and it's been interesting.

I have just started talking to a girl that my aunt introduced me to. Disadvantage: she's only 23. Advantage: she's 6' tall. (For those of you that don't know, I'm 6'3".) We talked for the first time last night and it went pretty well, and I'm planning on going out with her sometime next week. I have learned a while ago to have exactly zero expectations when going out on first dates. My hope before any given first date is about 5%. It makes it a lot easier that way.

One odd thing of late, I have seen 3 very attractive black women (1 from Texas, 1 from Kenya, and 1 from Nigeria) in the past 3 days at 2 of the clinics that I work. And they were all single. Hmm, maybe I should go back to black?

On a completely random note, I'm working in a clinic in Dallas today. The office manager here is very cool and we get along very well. She told me that there was a client that she thought that would be good for me to date. I told her great, because I'm up for dating pretty much anybody once. I'm not desperate, but I think that it's pretty easy to be too picky, and you never know who you will be attracted too.

Back to the story, I told the office manager to set it up. And then she said very loudly, "What are you gonna say to her? 'Hey Baby, you wanna take ride in my HUMMER?'" There was a client on the other side of the door, and since the doors are made of rice paper, the client heard her. Not exactly a professional thing to say when a client can hear.

Well, I'd better get back to "working." I really don't see too many patients at this clinic, which is kinda nice.

Keep on keepin' on.