The Motor City?

Last night I met an interesting person. Bubba, his girlfriend, Annie, and I went to Billy Bob's to watch Reckless Kelly and Cross Canadian Ragweed. Well, it was PACKED, and Bubba's girlfriend was bound and determined to find a place to sit. Well, as I said, it's packed in there, and I didn't think that she had a snowball's chance in hell of finding a table, but she did.

Well, at a table were two girls of 25 years of age. They were Kansas State grads, and were very nice to let us sit at there table. One of the girls had gotten up, and I didn't want the other one to feel weird, since there were 4 complete strangers sitting at her table with her. I introduced myself and she did too.

Then she told me what the other girl's name was. She said, "Her name is Brooklyn. And her middle name is Cleveland, but her friends call her Detroit."

To which I replied, "Of course they do. What else would they call her?"

I don't know why, but I think that is pretty dang funny. It should be a movie, or a song at least. So now I'm trying to figure out how to write a song about a girl named Brooklyn Cleveland, but goes by Detroit.

After the concert ended, we started to head home, and just as I was turning out of the parking lot, I saw a P.O.S. car stalled in the right lane, with no lights on at all. I swerved to avoid hitting it, and I decided to stop and see if I could help (Maybe not the smartest decision I've ever made, since it was 1:30 A.M., and they could have killed me, but I digress.).

This is the scene. There are two men of about 25 years of age, a women in her early 20's, and a 9 month old in the back seat. One of the men is at the front of the car, and the other is in the driver's seat. I asked them if they are O.K., and they really didn't answer me. Odd.

I asked the guy at the front of the car if he was with them, and he said, "No."

I then asked, "Did you just walk up here to help them?"

"Yes," he replied.

Very odd.

I then ask the driver what's wrong with the car......No answer. I asked him if he could turn on his hazard lights......No answer. I ask them where they want to push the car. One of them said they wanted to put it back in the parking lot.

So I almost single-handedly push the car the 30 yards or so back into the parking lot. I then ask the driver if he has help coming. He looks at me blankly and says nothing. I ask him if he needs anything else. He says, "No."

I then realize that there is not anything else for me to do, so I say good bye and run back to my truck.

They didn't even thank me. Not surprising though, is it?

Keep on keepin' on.

Good Times

Well, it's Sunday morning at 9:05 A.M., and unfortunately for me, I'm awake. I guess my body says that 5.5 hours of sleep is enough for me.

Here's the weekend in a nutshell.

Friday: The guys got to my house, and since Big Judy's flight was delayed, we ate at Chili's for lunch. We got the party started right though, by messing with the waitress pretty good. I'm sure that she just loved us. Of course she did, we gave her a fat tip.

We picked up Big Judy from the airport and finally made it to Bossier City around 6:00 P.M. After checking in at the hotel, we found a hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. Those are always the best restaurants, in my opinion.

We then decided to hit the casino and play some blackjack. Bubba showed up shortly after that, and then the fun really started. We all managed to sit down at the same blackjack table, which was made things pretty dang interesting. Big Judy hit the sack pretty early, around 11:30, because he was pretty drunk and tired. Bubba and I were the next ones out, mainly because the dealers were bitch-slapping the shite outta us, and I was down about $200 for the evening. We did manage to get a free breakfast, valued at $7.99 (oooh, aaah), for a net loss of $192.01 for the evening. Of course I'm not including the cost of the liquor/beer that I drank, because, then I'd be ahead about $5.25 for the evening.

So, Big Judy, Bubba, and I were sound asleep in our hotel room, when at 6:15 A.M., Cameltoes came busting in, not anywhere near the land of soberdom. He was pretty dang loud, so all three of us awoke. It took me about 5 entire seconds to realize the following things: 1) where the heck I was at, 2) who the heck barged into my room, and 3) why in the heck my head was pounding so bad.

Cameltoes managed to drunk dial his girlfriend too. He really didn't carry on a meaningful conversation, needless to say.

Score after 1st night: Casino: -1, All of our livers: -1,000, Wallets: Negative untold hundreds of dollars, Bossier City Police: -7 drunk cats on the prowl (Thank God).

By about 8:45 A.M., I awoke to Big Judy getting dressed. It didn't take me long to realize that I was pretty much up for good, so we decided to cash in on our complementary breakfast. The two of us ssssllllllooooooooowwwwwwwllllllyyyyy made our way to the casino for a pretty sorry excuse for a breakfast. We had fun just hanging out and talking. After about an hour, we headed back to the hotel, where Bubba was just waking up, and Cameltoes was none too happy that we were about to start the day. Big R called shortly thereafter to announce that the party was gonna have to start getting ready.

Around 12:30, we all headed back to the casino, because Big R, Cameltoes, Big S, and Big J all got comp'd lunches. Bubba joined them and Big Judy and I played some blackjack. In short order, all of us guys were playing blackjack.

By the time we left, about 6:30 P.M., I had managed to make a huge comeback from yesterday, to bring myself only down $80 for the 2 days of blackjack. And when you consider the total amount of "free" drinks that I consumed, I figure I came out about even.

We watched the Cowboys choke against the Seachickens and ended back at the hotel (Bubba, Cameltoes, Big Judy, and I) by about 12:00 A.M. We were all hungry and we decided to find a joint to eat at.

On the way, we managed to pass not 1, not 2, but 3 police cars. I pretty much thought that we were toast, but luckily they were all headed for the doughnut shop, and not really looking for 3 drunk dudes, and a driver that was pretty sober.

We found a Shoney's and since it was all-you-can-eat, we figured it would be a good thing. Well, I couldn't really tell you a single thing that I ate, but I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. At one point, I couldn't breathe very well, and I started drooling on the table, because I was laughing so hard. That, in turn, made Big Judy start crying from laughing so hard.

When we were about finished with our meal, Cameltoes got up in a hurry and disappeared. The next thing I know, he's banging on the window frantically, trying to get our attention. Big Judy, Bubba, and I all look up just in time to see Cameltoes' nipple being pressed against the window. We all loose it, and I tell them that we'd better get our butts outta there.

Sunday morning we got up around 8:00 A.M. and Big Judy, Bubba, and I went to eat the free continental breakfast at our fine hotel. It was pretty dang shabby, and Bubba left soon after that. The group managed to hit the road by 11:00 A.M.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Cameltoes was hurling his guts out all that morning. He had vomited a bunch about 20 minutes before I jumped in the shower. I thought it was safe to take a shower, but oh, I was wrong.

I was literally about 1 minute from stepping out of the shower, when I hear Cameltoes open the door to the bathroom and say, "Whatever you do, don't step out."

I then hear the violent wretching of his stomach. So I'm stuck in the shower for about 10 minutes, all the while Cameltoes is tossing his cookies. Nice huh?

He also vomited twice while we were driving. All. Over. The. Window. Of. The. Suburban. While. We. Were. Going. 70 mph.

It looked like we were going through a carwash, as his stomach contents were being sprayed all over the rear, side window. Thankfully, all of the vomitus stayed outside the vehicle.

And then we made it home.

Keep on keepin' on.

A Weekend Of Decadence

Well, it's finally here. Big R's Bachelor Party! WHHHHHHHHHOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The boys are supposed to get the the house between noon and one today, and then we will take of to pick up Big Judy at the airport. My brother is even gonna be able to make it for both nights, so that will be cool. A grand total of 7 of us, which is great, because we will be gambling, and who doesn't love "lucky" numbers when about to commence of said activities?

We are renting a Suburban for the gang to trek the 225 miles to the gambling establishments.

So, significant others of all of us guys, don't worry, I'll take care of everyone. :)

Keep on keepin' on.

Merry New Year

New Year's Eve was interesting at my household. Annie, Cameltoes, and I hung out at the house. I had just used my $100 gift card to Williams-Sonoma to buy a kick arse knife, and I was itching to use it.

So I searched the web for an interesting recipe; one that would be fun to make, and that had a bunch of steps.

So we decided on a beef "strokin' off" recipe, that we got from Williams-Sonoma's web site. It is really, really good, but it takes a lot of effort to make it. At one time, I had all four burners going, which really constitutes a good meal, right?

Well, to make a long story short, it was the best beef strokin' off I'd ever had (but come to think of it, I've only had the Hamburger Helper variety, so that's not saying much). I would highly recommend it. We even had to buy leek, which I didn't even know existed.

In case you were wondering, the knife worked wonderfully. It had better, for it cost me only $89.95 plus tax. Who would think that you could spend that much $ on a single knife? I also bought a honing steel, so my grand total was about $140. I did realize that I love that store, so it might make me just a little gay. Oh well, so I like to cook.

I'm gonna make a good wife someday.


This Friday marks Big R's Bachelor Party/Midget Parade/Donkey Show. It should be interesting. I'm getting pretty excited about it too.

I also have to get fitted for my tux. The big day will be here before we know it. Madness.

Keep on keepin' on.

Gig 'Em Aggies

Well, tonight's the big game. The Texas A&M vs. Cal. The Ags are underdogs, which doesn't surprise me. I think that it should be a good game, and a close one at that. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the Aggies by 3.

I managed to get 20 tickets to the Rangers for Christmas this year! Yippppeeee! I got 10 from my parents, and 10 from Bubba. Annie thanks you too.

Dr. Toes and I are going to the Cotton Bowl this year. I'm pretty excited, because I haven't been to a Bowl game before.

I don't have a lot of profound things to say today. Sorry for the lack of posting as of late, but I've been a tad preoccupied with other things.

Keep on keepin' on.

Merry Christmas

Breaking news, although it's a day late, Annie and I have gotten back together. You know, I really love roller coasters, but this ride sucked.

I hope that all of you have a Merry Christmas! I hope that all of you have a great time with your friends and family.

It's gonna be a pretty small gathering @ mi padres house tomorrow (Dad, Mom, Me, Kewa, Bubba, his Girlfriend, and her Daughter).

Bubba and I are gonna take his enduro (sp?) bike out tomorrow. He's had it for over a year now, and he just now got it running. He's never even really ridden it.

I hope that we have fun. I was just getting my helmet all ready for the endeavor.

Well, Merry Christmas. Keep on keepin' on.

It's Been A Hard Few Days, With More To Come

Annie and I broke up yesterday. I'm dealing with it now, and I really don't feel much like typing. Sorry to my 2-3 readers out there. :)

If you read this Annie, I wish you nothing but good things.

As the old song said, "Breaking up is hard to do."

No kidding.

Keep on keepin' on.

A Break II

We are still on a break, and this sucks. These situations are so hard.

So, understandably, I really don't have a lot to talk about lately. Basically, my life is on "hold" until I can decide what the best decision is.

On one hand there's this........and on the other hand there is this........

It would be a lot easier if I didn't love her so much.

So I bang my head against the wall. Over and over.

Keep on keepin' on.

A Break

Well, Annie and I are on a "break."

The details really don't matter that much, because why does one couple fight versus another couple? It's all really the same: differences between men and women, and the way that each person views things. Men want to "fix" things, and women want to "talk" about them and share their emotions, thereby each sex tries to further their bonding. But when these two points of view clash, it's no bueno.

And besides, any details of the cause of the "break" are pretty boring, so sharing them for the world to see really doesn't help anybody. It's the same type of stuff that couples face all the time. There was no yelling, screaming, curse words, or anything close to that, so it's not a very good story anyway.

So, now I have the holidays to "think", I guess. Probably not the best time to do that, do you think?

But I have been thinking a lot about compatibility today. What makes one couple mesh well, and another mesh OK?

I actually had a real conversation with my dad today. If you know him, you realize how rare that is, since he does about 99% of the talking during any given interaction. But this morning was a very good talk with him. I have to keep these close, since Dad and I have only had a handful of "real" conversations, where I get to state my point of view on a given topic.

I actually got to know him on a much more personal level. Think about your own relationship with your dad. Most of the time it's on a Father/Son level. Even at my age (31) it's still pretty much that way. But once in a while, you expand on those roles, and branch out into something a little more. Like a friendship. Well, today, I started to see my dad in a different light. As a person.

That may sound funny, but it takes a while to realize that fact, and that he's not just "Dad," but he has feelings too. I asked Dad about when he was dating Mom, and I learned a lot about him from that. It was pretty cool.

So that makes today pretty bittersweet, and isn't that the way most things are anyway? I gained a new respect for my dad, which fills a hole, and I lost Annie, which creates one.

Fill one, make one. Make a new friend, lose a friend. Get a new job, lose the old job. Move to a new house, lost the old one. Gain something from you dad, lose something from your girlfriend.

So, I guess I'll have to just follow my motto for this blog: Keep on keepin' on.

And may God bless you.

P.S. I fully realize that this post isn't at all funny. So don't count this one against me. A brotha can only do so much.

Am I Funny?

I'd like to place a poll on my sense of humor:

Am I funny?

Those of you that know me can email me your answer. If you don't.....Post a comment.

Cuz I think that my posts of the last few months haven't been humorous. I'm trying to figure out what my new "theme" should be for this blog, since I dang sure ain't writing about poker anymore.