Today marks history folks. The Astros are about to play in their first World Series tonight. I am even wearing my "non-white socks" today. Actually they are khaki, for those of you keeping score. I just have two words, GO ASTROS!!!!
Ah Texas Hold 'em, what a curious game. For those of you that actually care, I ask this question, What is the better way to handle bad swings? Either I a) keep trudging on, sticking to my guns by playing the solid poker that has worked in the past. Or do I b) stop playing for a while, and wait for the bad luck to subside? I'm not sure it's possible to outrun/wait out bad luck/variance. I think it's like a boiling bowl of soup that you have to eat, either you drink it all down quickly (that being a relative term) and let it burn like hell to get it over with. Or you can sip on it, having it burn in small amounts at a time. I guess I have been doing both, with neither method working. Damn you variance, you go to hell and you die! Leave this poor veterinarian alone.
If I had lived my entire life without hearing this, it would be too soon. What follows actually happened to me during my first 3 or 4 months as a "doctor" (not a "real doctor" mind you). This will be know as the "I Use Urine In New and Exciting Ways" award. Two lesbians in their early 20's (simmer down fellas, they weren't THAT type of lesbians) enter my clinic with their chihuahua that's pregnant. They want her X-rayed (not a real word I realize) to see how many puppies this bitch (not the lesbian) was going to have. So I take the dog back for the radiographs. In the meantime, another woman walks in with her new "Pomeranian" puppy. This woman was about as bright as a burned out lightbulb, which is going to become real apparent in a few sentences. This woman actually bought a chihuahua/dachshund mix and she had no idea what the difference was. Nice scam, huh. Now you see why I get so mad at shady breeders (see here for more info with bad breeders). Anyway, so the not so smart woman (here after known as NSSW) and the lesbian start talking in the waiting room. This is where things get crazy. The NSSW tells the lesbian about how she's having a hard time house training her Pomeranian/chihuahua/dachshund puppy. The lesbian, in her astounding intelligence, tells her the following:
Ah Texas Hold 'em, what a curious game. For those of you that actually care, I ask this question, What is the better way to handle bad swings? Either I a) keep trudging on, sticking to my guns by playing the solid poker that has worked in the past. Or do I b) stop playing for a while, and wait for the bad luck to subside? I'm not sure it's possible to outrun/wait out bad luck/variance. I think it's like a boiling bowl of soup that you have to eat, either you drink it all down quickly (that being a relative term) and let it burn like hell to get it over with. Or you can sip on it, having it burn in small amounts at a time. I guess I have been doing both, with neither method working. Damn you variance, you go to hell and you die! Leave this poor veterinarian alone.
If I had lived my entire life without hearing this, it would be too soon. What follows actually happened to me during my first 3 or 4 months as a "doctor" (not a "real doctor" mind you). This will be know as the "I Use Urine In New and Exciting Ways" award. Two lesbians in their early 20's (simmer down fellas, they weren't THAT type of lesbians) enter my clinic with their chihuahua that's pregnant. They want her X-rayed (not a real word I realize) to see how many puppies this bitch (not the lesbian) was going to have. So I take the dog back for the radiographs. In the meantime, another woman walks in with her new "Pomeranian" puppy. This woman was about as bright as a burned out lightbulb, which is going to become real apparent in a few sentences. This woman actually bought a chihuahua/dachshund mix and she had no idea what the difference was. Nice scam, huh. Now you see why I get so mad at shady breeders (see here for more info with bad breeders). Anyway, so the not so smart woman (here after known as NSSW) and the lesbian start talking in the waiting room. This is where things get crazy. The NSSW tells the lesbian about how she's having a hard time house training her Pomeranian/chihuahua/dachshund puppy. The lesbian, in her astounding intelligence, tells her the following:
"Oh that's easy to take care of. You know how dogs "mark" their own territory? Well, since dogs have such a keen sense of smell I decided to show my chihuahua who's boss. I urinated on a towel, and then I took said urine soaked towel around my house and blotted my urine in every room of my house. That way she will know that this is "my" house."
I kid you not. That is what she said. It gets even better..... the NSSW then said, "Really, I never thought of that. I guess I'll have to try it out."
And that folks is why there should be a law against stupid people breeding. Congratulations on your award ladies. Truly amazing.
Keep on keepin' on kids. And do NOT use this method for house training your puppy.
P.S. I just went to see what my next appointment is. Here's what it says, "Office call: swollen vagina." And you just thought you wanted to be a veterinarian.
1 comment:
Thanks riky, i appreciate it, although I have no idea what your website says. At least somebody's reading this thing other than me.
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